capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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