i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
