yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
