the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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