dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
