i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
