Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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