The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
