Are we in a gay sports bar?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All I want is dick and wine.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
