Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
