Is it because I queefed?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just invented taco cereal.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
