You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
