I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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