You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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