she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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