i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
