Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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