so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
