i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
