i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
