Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
