Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
