I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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