dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
