rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
