I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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