Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
