Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
