yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
