puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
