I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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