Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
