Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
