part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
