Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
