they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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