he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
