I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
