my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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