You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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