We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
