I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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