Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
