Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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