he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
