It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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