She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
