he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
