yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize