OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
