My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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