I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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