Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
