Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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