I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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