I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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