The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
