I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
