she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
