and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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