We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
