I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
