It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
