We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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