Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
