apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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