You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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