It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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