I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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