she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
