I'm really into asian looking animals
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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