a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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