Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
